Wow team, I haven't updated in awhile.

Let's see. Not sure where to start. I'm pretty tired right now.

Ripley is looking more and more like Allie. To the extent that it's a little weird. And making me a bit sad, but I love the silly dog. We bred Nell. Puppies due January 5. So excited and so nervous.

Have been having flashes of weird introspective moods. Like at the Emily White concert. She asked for words that describe us, and gave us her top adjectives for her. Mine: queer, pagan, scientist/biologist, survivor, person with a disability, person with a mental illness, dog breeder, friend. I think there may have been more.

Watched Garden State last night. Also put me in an introspective mood. I really liked the portrayal of love, minus the fact that it only took 4 days. No one has made a big impact in my life in less than a week, at least on the falling in love level. Flashes of inspirational speech, yes. But I loved the fact that it showed them scared shitless. More true to life than other things I've seen lately. Or in a while for that matter.

The loneliness is also back. I should try to fix that. I think it's why I've been sleeping so much. Will try to see if anyone's up for Taste of Asia tonight. And maybe District 9 at Cheapseats afterwards.

So that's what's up with me. Flashes of inspiration, introspection, nostalgia and sadness, all mingling together into a sort of overall eh. I also wish this semester would be over. I hate writing papers. My plant ecology proposal intro makes NO sense. And I don't really feel like editing it.

And OMG Wegman's is totally a food porn emporium for those that haven't gone. I may have jizzed myself. Oops. But so much pretty, tasty, tasty food!!!

Milestones that I'm looking forward to:

- graduation and having a degree (or maybe not)
- my first apartment
- my first house
- my first relationship lasting longer than one month, six months, one year, etc
- a life partner?
- getting an acceptance letter from a vet school
- surviving and graduating that vet school and having shiny new letters to add before and after my name
- first homebred AKC champion
- first litter whelped in my own house
- second, third, fourth, etc generation homebred champion
- first homebred Club major winner
- first homebred Club champion
- first car that I actually own
- the day that I finally pay off all of the debt that I will be gathering shortly
- top surgery
- having enough money to travel again, especially to a foreign country
- having enough money to import a dog again
- getting my AKC judging license
- getting my Club judging licence
- first everything in terms of sexuality
- maybe having enough money one day to have my own darkroom
- comfortable retirement
- first real job
- first paper published, if I go down that road
- first animal's life that I save, if I go down that road
- being able to buy really expensive food
- hopefully coming to a day where I no longer need therapy

Now, share some of yours :) 

"So what did you do today Kate?"

"My roommate and I hung up a picture with dental floss and duct tape."

Yup.

This just makes me love Tina Fey even more. Apparently, she didn't loose her virginity until 24. If someone as awesome as her was a virgin at 24, there is hope for me yet. TINA FEY YOU ARE FANTASTIC AND I LOVE YOU.

http://www.popeater.com/2009/10/15/tina-fey-virgin-david-letterman/?icid=main|aimzones|dl2|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.popeater.com%2F2009%2F10%2F15%2Ftina-fey-virgin-david-letterman%2F

Jerry looks so old now. (He is our 9 year old dual champion; a week after I left  for school he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. We've known that's been coming for years, but some how knowing didn't make it that much easier). He's even older and frailer and weaker than when I was last home 3 or so weeks ago. Each day with him is precious, and yet I keep hoping that he'll slip away in his sleep. I don't want to have to decide when is the right moment. He is such a special dog and we have so many special memories together. We learned all about dog shows together. Without him I wouldn't be where I am today, and I wouldn't be going down the career path that I am. We have so many memories - thousands of miles traveled, hundreds of shows attented; that very first show, that first reserve, those first points, that first major, the second major, those very last points. AKC Best of Breed wins. Our first time in the group. Our second time in the group. Our third time in the group. A club Best in Show. A Club Reserve Best in Show. Top Ruby one year. Second top ruby the next. Retirement. First time out in the Veterans class. He has taught me so much. I love him so much. I don't really think I can describe what he means to me, how important he is.

And all of the things he's done outside the ring. Scooty man. Snorkling for clams - probably the first and only dog ever to do so. The fearless pack defender. Food guardian. Stink Ding. Got your lip. Bubbles. Always being gentle and a true Cavalier. God I'm going to miss him. This is so hard to handle so close after Bonnie. I cry whenever I go home now. I need to heal. Bonnie was so special too. They all are. Bonnie was the very first, one to whom I spilled so many secrets. She was with me through middle school and high school, two trips to Maine, countless hours and the Lake House. She sat in my lap, she attempted to smother me, she shared my hotel beds. And she's gone, suddenly and horrifically. Stealer of any hidden or forgotten food, bait finder, car air conditioner hog, my Junior Showmanship buddy who I made many mistakes and had many triumphs with. We suffered through two obedience trials together before I decided to spare both of our dignities. We graduated from obedience training class together. I'm so sorry I never did take her to agility class like I always promised. I hope she forgives me. Belcher extraordinaire. Never heard a dog burp like she could. Fearless attacker of scary animals and aliens and monsters on the TV. Bay window observer. And most importantly just always there when I needed her. And now she's gone.

I sort of wonder why I keep doing this. Nothing gives me nearly the fraction of joy that these dogs have over the years, and yet they're gone too soon. And I still keep coming back for more. But the hardest thing in life is living it, eh?

So for some reason my laptop and our router don't want to get along, so I can't get internet on my laptop; consequently I'm typing this from my mom's laptop. And my laptop is sitting here so I can at least attempt to look up the URLs of some bookmarks and access some word documents on it. And I feel like its sitting here looking at me typing on this laptop and getting jealous. Its like I'm having a horrible, torrid laptop affair and my poor laptop is watching the whole thing. I have the urge to tell it that this doesn't mean anything and I still love it.

Catharsis is a funny feeling. There's calm, but also some sadness/grief and the need to heal. What a tricky bitch.

Halloween anyone?

http://news.aol.com/article/insane-killer-phillip-arnold-paul/676297?icid=main|aimzones|dl1|link6|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Finsane-killer-phillip-arnold-paul%2F676297

OH MY DEAR FUCKING GOD. The Spike/muppet Angel fight scene in "Smile Time" of Angel is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I almost peed my pants. Holy shit Joss Whedon, I love you even more.

Everyone watch it NOW. I think this is my new cure for ANY bad day.

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=A1BNBCDI

Fight scene starts at 18:42, but the whole episode is great. Aside from making me afraid of my childhood. I LOVE Spike's hysterical laughter while muppet Angel is attacking him. Oh god, now I do want to read lots and lots of Spike/Angel slash.

Oh, glorious day.

Finally found, rented & watched The Host. Its a South Korean creature flick that has gotten very good reviews. After seeing Cloverfield, I wanted to try and get into the genre.

Very good movie. Different than what I was expecting - deeper, more psychological, and even philosophical. Not just a creature running amok. 

( Here be spoilers? maybe? )
All in all, fantastic film that I'd highly recommend to pretty much everyone on my flist.

Found a little baby turtle while taking the dogs for a walk last night. I think it was a box turtle, as the only other kind of turtle I know of around here is the snapping turtle and this guy definitely wasn't a snapper. He was so small he fit in the palm of my hand. So cute. He might be the smallest turtle I've ever seen. My mom wanted to take him home and make him a pet during a moment of partial sanity loss. Then we saw a bat. I really like bats.

Tonight I sat down & watched The Lion King. Something I've been wanting to do all summer, but was really in the mood tonight. God is it beautiful. It has had a huge impact on my life and its release was a seminal moment in my childhood for many reasons. It still has a huge impact on my religious views and leanings, and so it was fun to watch it now, and see. It went by pretty fast (its probably only 80 minutes, but still). It just seemed like I sat down and watched the glorious opening that chokes me up a bit when the credits started rolling. Sigh.

Tomorrow my little girls return to Mary Louise. Double sigh. I will miss them, but they do need to get back to their other mom. I'll see them again in a couple months hopefully. Because I will be sad about this, I resolve to make myself go out and do things with people. So, faithinthejudas, gr8t_gatsby, penguinbob, theo_winterwood and whoever else reads my LJ that might be in the vicinity, hit me up.


Edit:  Oh man, the Lion King VHS had an ad for Pocahontas on it, so it will be DAYS before I get Colors of the Wind out of my head.

And guess who found a super beat up VHS  copy of The Land Before Time?  And cried when Littlefoot's mother died (again)? At age 21?  Oh yeah, I'm cool.

Holy crap. I haven't updated in forever. I apologize for that, and now for a post. Just a short one though, as I have to leave for work in 30 minutes.

But anyway, part of the reason I haven't posted in so long is because my internet was down for 48 hours. I almost went insane. Almost literally. I now know internet is truly an addiction, and I don't really care.

Necessities for modern life:
1. air
2. water
3. food
4. shelter
5. clothing
6. money
7. functional internet

I need to get my bill adjusted with Student Accounts. They're charging me for a more expensive meal plan. Poo.

Made a MASSIVE Costco run today.

Will post a gigantic update later.

But for now:
http://news.aol.com/health/article/swearing-helps-tolerate-pain/568386?icid=main|aimzones|dl2|link6|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Fhealth%2Farticle%2Fswearing-helps-tolerate-pain%2F568386

Sweet.

I also need new webcomics to read. Recommend away good people.